The Work

     A violet rose falls at my feet and a smile reaches my face. The love of my life, he’s back. Of course he is no longer mine, but I will always consider him my one and only love. The warmth of his body beside me feels so good. I missed him so much; I don’t know how I live these months without him. I look up and into the eyes of the man I love. He’s beautiful, yes beautiful. Daniel’s blue eyes reach mine and I take in his smile, new smell, new shirt, and now glasses instead of contacts. Yet still, same love. Same hug, same smile, same laugh, the same Dan. We walk down the path along the river, to our bench. Yes, our bench. Neither of us has said a word yet. We can’t, there is too much to take in. Soaking up the differences in each other since the last time we met. When he left the first time, I told him I would always love him, only now, he’s my brother. I have held true to that promise, I still love him, and I haven’t expected anything more than a sibling-like relationship. 

    Now that we’re sitting, Daniel speaks. The sound of his beautiful, familiar, reassuring tone almost brings me to tears.

    “What do you think?” an honest question that Daniel has to repeat for me to soak it in.

    “I think I missed you a lot. I like the suit, but… ya, hair is deff’s too short. I like whatever you smell like now, though it is a little bit sweet, and your eyes are still as beautiful as ever.” The end of my sentence is a near whisper and my eyes drop. Being pulled into a hug, I notice something else, something I have ignored. He is stressed. The first visit since he left, almost three years ago, he was so happy, so relaxed. But now, he is tense. I noticed it last time, but I said nothing, I couldn’t. He would never give up the work. It’s where he feels he is supposed to be, and maybe he’s right. But right here beside me, that’s where he feels right to me. Curling into a ball on his lap, my hands on his chest, I sigh. Three years ago, I would have kissed him; but no more. Not now, not ever.